I think that the other side of it is, at some point, you will be ready to be her friend, the pain and anger will fade with time, and you will be able to look past whats happened. My problem is I feel like I have made progress in that area, but I am sort of waiting for the next insult. For the other shoe to drop. And let me say right now, if that happens, Im hiring a lawyer!
My DB coach said that the first step is re-establishing your friendship. However, if you arent ready to do that, and come to terms with your emotions, it will be in vain, no matter how hard you try, things will resurface eventually.
And I agree, if they decide that you are the one you want to be with, not much will stop them!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...