Hate to be here But its nice to be here

[highhopesforever]

New to Posting but have been here about a month.
My sitch back in march got the bomb ILYBNILWY and she wanted to move out to find her self. Our relationship has been in a rut for about 6 yrs. No intimacy
hardly any affection friendly love kissing hugging only routine.
So of course helped her move out march 13 friday I know Im not superstitious.
All she asked for was space and time, I did the old pleading crying look at poor me, never begged, I still felt like she tore by balls off. Kept doing the cheese less tunnels how was I to know back then. As we got farther into the separation the alien came down.
Ive heard very script there is from a WAW. I think shes hit every one of the scripts.
W was really nasty and viscous for awhile so being DBing ignorant went right back at her with my nastiness and viciousness, then thank God I found this place.
I know shes not in EA, shes gotten over weight and has low self-esteem.
The worst part W IC pushed to divorce me and she says now she wants divorce but hasnt done anything about it. Last month when I tried to get friendly she would throw the D in my face to back me off. Then I would get the old I cant be nice to you because then you would think there is hope.
She was on e harmony and chemistry for a while, shes resigned all singles crap for now any way. We sold the condo both have nice apartments about 5 miles apart. Since coming here and getting coaching Ive gotten rid of the negativity, friendship stage next ; )
Havent seen her in more then 40 days, maybe 5 min on phone better last few days, shes in Va and Fl on vaca. My first goal was no negativity A-ok. Going almost dark has helped, shes called a few more times now wow I know no expectations. I refused to call for the last 3 weeks.
I do Love my wife and want a new relationship, personal goals are falling into place. GALing, Beat the crap out of my self working out, feel better then when I was 35.
Ive detached pretty good, Mostly dont care what shes thinking doing going, Like everybody says nothing I can do about it. Im going to be talking with coach Jody guess what my wifes name is?
I got a laugh on the first call, I have to say coach Jody is awesome, she got me back on track.
What I need is my fellow long distance DBers to tell me how they reconnected back to a friendship stage, I know time patience let her make the moves, but I think one of my other 180s
is to give her some attention without looking like Im give her attention, cognitive dissonance.
I know its in the timing, slowly but surely but dont call me shurley.
I see other DBers in the same sitch and same quandary. How to reconnect more then by phone or email? Ive come up with a few excuses like my vac is broke, maybe Ill use that one first. I still havent hung any curtains.
I love psychology but cant rap my head around this one. Not yet anyway.
Any veterans help this pilgrim tinhorn long distance DGing I know 5 mile aint much, hopefully on to stage 2?