What has worked for me/Update wife said she done

[whereami]

billclay, we were living under the same roof as roommates for a little over a month, sleeping in different rooms. Then our kids went to my sisters to stay for a month, and that's when she moved out.

I used that time to GAL, and started to prepare myself for a life without W. It's not what I wanted, but I had no choice in the matter. She had made it very clear that she was done, and there was no hope, not now, not EVER.

I didn't know how to detach, and was scared that if I could detach, and not fight to save my marriage, that it would be over. I definitely wanted to feel better, and understood that if I could detach that I probably would feel better. I was depressed, probably like most on here.

My W knew that I wanted to save our marriage, and was willing do do whatever it took to do just that. I was a backup plan for her, meaning that if what she was doing didn't work out that I would be there waiting for her.

Once she realized that was not going to be the case, she seemed to come out of her fog. Her seeing me move on and truly being happy without her, I think woke her up. She has told me that when she knew I was moving on and was done chasing her, she didn't know if I would want her back, and at first I wasn't sure if I did want her back.

I felt like most here, all I wanted to do was get W to agree to try and work things out. I was trying all of the DB techniques that I thought would work in my situation. Some worked and some didn't. I would take a step forward and three steps backwards.

I'm still seeing my IC once a week, and doing things I need to do to improve me. W has not made hardly any changes that I think she should make, but it's baby steps, right. Although she has agreed to see a counselor, and work on her issues, she hasn't made an appointment yet.

Disclaimer: I'm by no means an expert when it comes to saving marriages. There are people on here that are more insightful and could give better advice then I could, and what worked for me may or may not work for others. Don't be afraid to let go of the rope if it's not getting you anywhere. What have you got to lose, and if anything you will feel better once you start to GAL, I promise.