New here, but not new to heartbreak... so I'm kind of reluctant to chip in. I can relate to how you're feeling right now. I haven't posted my story yet because I'm busy contemplating what I'm going to do myself.

In the meantime I've been doing A LOT of reading of the forum and previous posts to learn from others experience and see what I'm getting myself into. I hope you don't mind my butting in.

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I have done so many things for her

And nothing for YOU. DB'ing is about building yourself and in the process making yourself a more attractive package for her.

With that said, may I suggest you read up on Gucci Loafer's posts. He is a "ladies man" and understands women (and their issues) especially when infidelity is involved.

This is one of his posts:

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When a woman has an affair on a man, deep down she feels guilty because she knows it is wrong. However, the woman usually builds a wall around her guilt by blaming the BS and telling him that a big part of the reason is because he didn't this or didn't that or did this to her or did that to her…

The Betrayed Spouse usually buys right into her reasons for justifying her affair and starts begging, pleading and telling her he will change... This is almost always met with... "too little, too late" ILYBANILWY and a thousand other reasons or excuses. He keeps trying harder and harder to show her how he has changed and learned the error of his ways…

All the while, she is THINKING about how great the OM is. Daydreaming about him, talking to him, and probably sleeping with him and lying to the BS about what is really happening....

She does NOT respect you. Why?

Because you have not shown her and told her that you are not going to share her with another man. AND if she wants to be with other men, that she CANNOT have you too.

End of conversation with her... Leave her alone. Do not chase her, do not call her. This woman NEEDS to see and feel that you RESPECT YOURSELF enough that you can (and WILL) do better than being with a woman who can't or isn't faithful. It isn't up for negotiation and you will not compete for her and that HE can have her....

When you learn to respect yourself like that, then she WILL notice. She may or may not come back, but she WILL respect you and I would bet money that you would be secretly surprised about not only your growth as a male, but surprised how she may see you in a much more respectful light, which may even bring her back.... On YOUR terms...


And a sample from another one:

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Women have proven over and over and over and over again throughout the history of man.... They are ATTRACTED to confident, strong, funny, men who have a BACKBONE and are decisive... And YET.... Are sensitive to HER needs... (Notice I didn't say is a "sensitive man")...


When it comes to women, "he get's it." I've seen that when people follow his and Puppy Dog Tails advice they start getting results. From my understanding of their posts DB / DR is a little weak on the affair side of things.