He's a fine, upstanding person today at 25, even a hard worker. I never thought I'd see the day. It takes a lot of time. My concern is, if your wife has no control of your son, how is she going to deal with him 50% of the time when she is alone with him? My son is probably single-handedly responsible for my husband and myself staying together. We couldn't handle him together. But I knew alone, I didn't stand a chance.
Sara,
Interesting, but my W's approach (whether conscious or not) at this point to this question (how she is going to deal with him) seems to be by trying to make it my responsibility and my problem to fix. To @Coach's question, maybe he does realize that if he makes it impossible for her that she might realize she doesn't stand a chance and we'll have to stay together. That, in and of itself, wouldn't solve things, because unless she looks inwardly, too, I wouldn't be satisfied with our relationship. I take my share of the blame for what's happened in our relationship, but I cannot accept all of it (as I once did) nor can I accept her premise that our R caused her to go outside our M.
But, if any portion of what he is doing is under his control, I give him credit for fighting for our family, too (albeit without condoning the language or the aggression). So, if that's his "strategy", his Machiavellian approach ("the ends justifying the means") doesn't work for me either without her having some intensive therapy to work on her own issues, too.
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
