Whichever path you choose you have my support. It sounds like now things are out in the open it has forced him to act, it may even be a relief for him. I can't imagine how stressful it must be leading a double life (don't get me wrong I have no sympathy, they brought it on themselves, just merely an observation).
I do think your h needs to feel the full force of his actions. I like what Lisa said, he has to see what he has done and then we'll see. At the end of the day he is your husband, it is your family and most importantly your decision.
