According to the journal there is no PA but she is willing to go there. It seems that he is preparing to move away with his family to Italy and that he is actually letting her go. He is trying to break off their EA. Of corse this is turning my wife into a needy,moody,clingy mess and we all know what that does to attraction right? So, what to do? I was very close to confronting her by my daughters were there. I am thinking now that I should let her see this guy for what he is on her own. She was all mad at him because he made plans with her on her birthday and broke them. She did not hear from him for 2 hours after making the plans and then when they did do something it was'nt what she wanted to do-geez! She said she was tired of being just one more thing on his to-do list. UNBELEIVALBE!! Honeymoons over already huh wife??
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
New here, but not new to heartbreak... so I'm kind of reluctant to chip in. I can relate to how you're feeling right now. I haven't posted my story yet because I'm busy contemplating what I'm going to do myself.
In the meantime I've been doing A LOT of reading of the forum and previous posts to learn from others experience and see what I'm getting myself into. I hope you don't mind my butting in.
Quote:
I have done so many things for her
And nothing for YOU. DB'ing is about building yourself and in the process making yourself a more attractive package for her.
With that said, may I suggest you read up on Gucci Loafer's posts. He is a "ladies man" and understands women (and their issues) especially when infidelity is involved.
This is one of his posts:
Quote:
When a woman has an affair on a man, deep down she feels guilty because she knows it is wrong. However, the woman usually builds a wall around her guilt by blaming the BS and telling him that a big part of the reason is because he didn't this or didn't that or did this to her or did that to her…
The Betrayed Spouse usually buys right into her reasons for justifying her affair and starts begging, pleading and telling her he will change... This is almost always met with... "too little, too late" ILYBANILWY and a thousand other reasons or excuses. He keeps trying harder and harder to show her how he has changed and learned the error of his ways…
All the while, she is THINKING about how great the OM is. Daydreaming about him, talking to him, and probably sleeping with him and lying to the BS about what is really happening....
She does NOT respect you. Why?
Because you have not shown her and told her that you are not going to share her with another man. AND if she wants to be with other men, that she CANNOT have you too.
End of conversation with her... Leave her alone. Do not chase her, do not call her. This woman NEEDS to see and feel that you RESPECT YOURSELF enough that you can (and WILL) do better than being with a woman who can't or isn't faithful. It isn't up for negotiation and you will not compete for her and that HE can have her....
When you learn to respect yourself like that, then she WILL notice. She may or may not come back, but she WILL respect you and I would bet money that you would be secretly surprised about not only your growth as a male, but surprised how she may see you in a much more respectful light, which may even bring her back.... On YOUR terms...
And a sample from another one:
Quote:
Women have proven over and over and over and over again throughout the history of man.... They are ATTRACTED to confident, strong, funny, men who have a BACKBONE and are decisive... And YET.... Are sensitive to HER needs... (Notice I didn't say is a "sensitive man")...
When it comes to women, "he get's it." I've seen that when people follow his and Puppy Dog Tails advice they start getting results. From my understanding of their posts DB / DR is a little weak on the affair side of things.
Thanks for the help. I do know all about puppy and gucci and I am deciding what to do about this as I type. I am leaning towards a confrontation but I want to be in control so I need to plan it. I dont want to get caught up in her BS when confronting her. I have a DB phone coach appointment in 2 hours because I want to see what they have to say first. I HAVE worked on myself. I dont want you to think that I am still a worthless pile of dispair. I went to a concert by myself on friday-first time in my life. HUge 180 for me.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
The DB coach told me that since it looks like my wife's EA is starting to fail that I should step back and let it run its course. H e also said that if I confronted her now that all the negative feelings that she has for him will be directed towards me instead. He also told me to drop the rope. To staet acting like I am moving on by being the first to talk about splitting property and other things like removing my name from our utility bills. I will do these things anyway because Iam not sure I really care anymore.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I took my ring off on friday too. Anyone still wearing their ring? Is wearing your ring something like pursuing?
Mine has been off since April. W's has been off since prior to our S. I think it is a matter of how you feel - but I wouldn't use it to get a WAW to take notice either way.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
My wife took hers off the night of the bomb and it never went back on. I took mine off because I wanted to. Detaching? Getting over her? On the verge of being "done"?....maybe.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
We have a mediation meeting for august 28th scheduled. I tried as much as I could to stall this process but the time has come now. Anyone been through this in Indiana that can give me some insight into how to handle it? I feel like I am running out of time to save this marriage.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
hmmm, she seemed to be a little bit flirty last night when I dropped off the girls. She has a new tattoo on her wrist. She acted nervous when my daughter noticed it and wanted wife to show it to me. Nothing she does really bothers me anymore so I just told her it was cool. She became much more relaxed and was hanging around more. She lay down on the floor next to the bed I was sitting on and put her feet up next to me. When I asked a question about her tattoo I almost grabbed onto her hand to look at it but I caught myself. But, it sure seemed like she WANTED me to. What the hell is her deal? Does she really think that I am available to her after her married EA friend rejects her? I was never good at dating but I will get there eventualy- if she wants to be one of those people she will let me know.
Last edited by v1olin; 08/17/0905:05 PM.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
