d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

Finally talked to xh yesterday alittle bit. XH is super angry at me because I took him off the car insurance. I reminded him that he wanted this divorce and it states that as of divorce date (august 1) that we are responsible for our own coverages.

He's mad that I didn't tell him that I was taking him off insurance. Maybe that was wrong of me not to tell him. But our whole marriage I had to take care of all insurance issues. I figured if he read his papers that he'd know to get his own. After all he hasn't lived there since last november and I really shouldn't have had him on insurance anyways because he wasn't living there.

I admit that I did want to get even (alittle) with him. He was supposed to get me cobra insurance information at our first court hearing but he never did. Then my L got it postponed until August 1,(to give him more time to get the info. to me) yet even though I asked him about the information, he still never provided it to me.

Kind of like our whole M, if I needed him to do something for me, he never followed thru with it.

I told him yesterday, thanks for getting me the health ins. information. He said "what are you worried about, you are still covered !" I said "negative, your policy specifically states that a divorce is a life changing event. Date of divorce, stops my health insurance." as usual he had no comment.

I discussed the fact that our D4 needs counseling. He states, after I get done paying for your L, I'll consider it. I was ticked. He wanted the D - I got a L to protect my house. I've paid her close to $6,000.00 (i think) He agreed with her to give her $1500.00. Poor baby.

I was upset. I told him our D4 should be our top priority, for her well being. Maybe he should cut down on his social life and save money so we can take her to the C. He spent $3000.00 in one month, and $4,000.00 next month - strip club, and partying when this whole mess started. He sold some cows and farm equipment, that's where he got his money from in the first place.

Even though I do miss him, I do feel alot more relaxed. He needs to grow up. I'm not sure how I should treat him. He wanted to come over for a couple beers the other night. I told him no, sorry I'm kind of busy tonight. He admitted to using me and not wanting our D4. Why the H*** would I want him there?? I admit I wanted him there before the divorce to try and save my marriage but he has really crushed my heart and I'm just tired of the lies and hurt. I think it's best that he just drops D4 off and leaves. I just can't be his "buddy" right now. It hurts too bad.

Am I wrong to have these feelings?? Will they pass? - who knows

Have a good day everyone