After I talked about all of this with my S12 he told me that he had come to realize something about how I live my life...and it's a lesson he said he wanted to take with him...he told me that he had learned that happiness didn't come from dwelling on the past, but from living in the moment, and making it our future...
Carlos,
I quoted this section of your post because I think it is very telling what your son has said to you. As you say, it is amazing that a boy that young could have figured out so much, true, but he is your son and he is connected to you in a very wonderful way. That connection is beautiful and will only grow. As sad as it is that you were abused and that he bore witness to that, what matters is what you have taught him with your response to that abuse. Everyone will have pain and suffering in life; it is how we respond that matters. Look what he told you he has learned about happiness...that is what he is taking away from the entire experience. That is incredible. There is so much unsaid, too. You are teaching him about strength, honor, dignity, grace, courage and independence. You are showing him how to be the kind of man this world has too few of.
Please know that many here are thinking of you and your boys and the sadness you are feeling, but we also know that you will continue to do what it right and continue to show these boys what it means to be a healthydad (space intentionally omitted).
