Every time that I think I know what's going on in a WAW's head, something comes up that stumps me further.
I have run into a very similar situation...got "talked to" for discussing our situation with someone. W asked me not to discuss with a neighbor/friend. At the time it struck me as odd because W was adamant that she was leaving/filing. I asked her "don't you think they will notice when you don't live here anymore?" I mean how do they think it will be a secret?
Do you think that if they don't want people to know, there may still be a little hope that things will work out? I mean if it works out, they don't want everyone to know what we went through. If they thought 100% for sure it will not work, they would have to realize that everyone will know anyway.
Don't know if this is a common occurrence with WAS's, but I had a similar experience. W was upset that I had confided in a couple of very close firends of "ours" who had gone through D's. According to W, she only told her mother, and then only just before she told me.
I'm not sure what the WAS is thinking, and I would imagine they don't either. You just have to accept that logic and reason don't factor into it for them b/c most/all of what is fueling them is emotions/feelings.
