Well...I have to be honest. I was scared to go home yesterday. Elephant sitting on my chest scared. It was a horrible weekend. This far into it and I still care this much.
I have had times when I was more detached than others. As soon as she starts bringing up D, and I start thinking of my son the detachment goes away. Even though it's been 9 mos, it was only just over a month ago that we were in the same bed, she had her ring on, and we were planning a family trip (eventually cancelled)for her B'day.
I made sure I got home later than usual. Shen I got home, W and S7 were playing in his room. She greeted me with something along the lines of "Hi, if you take over here, I will go get dinner started." Inside I was asking myself "WTF? Last night you told me you were filing this week to follow your "path" and now it's 'I'll go get dinner ready?'"
In the past I would have pushed to find out what was really going on in there. Now I'll just play along. After my backsliding this weekend, I want to detach, give space and GAL for a while.
W is planning a trip to see family this weekend. She is taking S7. This never happened before the Bomb. We always went as a family. Part of my 180 was to say sure, go ahead, have fun. In an effort to get a little space from my backsliding I told her I was OK with them heading out a few days early if she wanted to.
I think a little time apart would do us some good.
Not much was said between us last night, but she's still there for now.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
