Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Ok, I think I know how I want to handle this, but just thought I'd throw it out there for opinions.

Boys called again last night begging me to come get them for a bit for the next few nights, "at least for dinner or something" to get away from 'their house' for a while. And, again, S12 sounded like he was nearly in tears wanting to know when I was coming back to town and buying a house. (yeah right, even working two jobs I'll be luck to afford a mobile home no thanks to all this).

Given S11's stated displeasure for OM once again attempting to assert himself into a disciplinary role, and XW pro-claiming to be at odds on what to do about "their" situation, I have a sneaky suspicion that the atmosphere there may be destabilizing.

So the dilemma:

Obviously OM and his immediate exposure to the kids has been and always will be a highly salty issue for me. Sorry, I can forgive her til the cows come home and I have, but that I simply can not. I also will not accept in any way OM thinking he has a role in rearing those boys.

Thus, I need to communicate and remind XW of this. Now, I think the best way for now is to gingerly approach it verbally despite the parenting agreement. The parenting agreement clearly dictates that any concerns in regards to the kids MUST be in written form for record and if I did so, right now I'd be sighting at least 3 provisions of the agreement that she is in violation of and faces contempt of court, ie- potential loss of custody.

But at the same time, I do not want to endanger the highly improved communication between us as of late. Sure, she may just trying to bait me as a safety net again, but as the song goes: "it's too late to apologize", is my stance. However, I am really liking our restated ability to talk openly and not be tiptoeing on eggshells, hell we're ever so close to potentialy at least going to dinner as a 'family' which has not happened since the end of August or so last year?

What would you do? Going the written route would definately set back if not completely shatter a re-developing friendship between us (regardless of her motive). Verbally however may do nothing more but the same. But it does have to be addressed.

Peace,
-dylan