Some interesting stuff here. I think changing the means of communication could change the dynamic and is a good way to test the waters and see if he becomes more proactive. You seem to be looking at the bigger picture which will give a better insight – it’s all too easy to get bogged down with the nitty gritty isn’t it. And if it doesn’t appear to be working you can always retreat to email and build up again.
Don’t stress about what’s happening with the OW (out of your control), in some ways if they do set up home together the honeymoon period will be over quicker and the rose tinted’s will be off which could led him to question what/why/how and so on. If he’s unsettled now and moves in with her and is still unsettled he’ll hopefully look within himself and come to realize that the problem isn’t just you or his job it’s him and his head. I’m probably jumping the gun a bit here though – I do tend to race off a bit.
