Yes I have been doing some reading on MLC and I'm still unsure what to do. I'm tempted to just roll with it (& probably end up divorced) but that is why I am getting the counsellor involved - I really need advice on what is the best way to handle this.
Read some more...I mean really read and understand this. This is something that you have NEVER experienced before. If you were starting a big project around the house....would you just jump in and make your decisions on the fly ? Or would you read about it and study it, and then have a plan BEFORE you start ?
Originally Posted By: steve_73
I know a couple of things: 1. Some of her comments hurt. She simply does not have a balanced viewpoint. 2. The kids are the most important piece in all of this but they are going to get hurt. All I can do is minimise this as much as possible. My wife cares about the kids but she is so wrapped up in herself that she isn't considering their welfare much at all.
I'm glad YOU know that, unfortunatly, that doesn't mean much right now....
Other than the children ARE NOT pawns in this.....YOU are the rational parent right now....PROTECT THEM !!!!
Originally Posted By: steve_73
One thing I'm concerned with is that every one going through this appears to have been hurt badly. I'd hazard to guess that the more you commit to the relationship the more your going to get hurt.
Don't think, even though it does hurt, that any of us would trade the lessons that we have learned for anything....
Originally Posted By: steve_73
I firmly believe that every marriage can work if it is between 2 stable healthy people. The issue is that someone in a MLC / or going through a massive personal change is inherently unstable. If they come out of this in whatever time is acceptable to you who will they turn into. My wife atm resembles a child / teenager. She is talking like a teenager & acting like a teenager - I have nothing in common with this person and I don't want too.
So you thought you were getting the RATIONAL MLC'er ?
Surprise !!!!!
Originally Posted By: steve_73
At this point I want out. All I see when I look at her is a mistake. I'm going to try and sort this out but I don't think I can - she has to go through whatever it is she is going through and I'll have to adapt.
Your decision....Not everyone is capable of being able to Cowboy Up and stay on this horse....
I just find it strange that in one paragraph you say you are Pro-Marriage, then in another, you are ready to just pack up and walk away..
I guess your vows were for better and pull the handle in the case of a MLC....
Not tryin to be difficult, I just want you to understand what you are dealing with before you pull the ripcord.
Let me ask you this....MLC is an inbalance of sorts....And it is easier to view it as an illness....
If your wife had cancer, would you love her through it ?
If she was disfigured in an accident, would you bail then ?
I'm thinkin no .....
Can you handle this ? Can you look in the mirror and accept that you have things to change and work on too ?
If you can't ? Then Good luck
If you can ?
There are some amazing people here, Most who have extended their hands to you already.....
