I agree. My son looks nothing like me or my H, but I saw him when I gave birth...so I know they didn't get him mixed up at the hospital. I know when you hurt bad enough the mind doesn't function as well as it should and you start to imagine things worse than they are. Don't worry about the S3 not being yours based on him not looking like you, okay? If you have something else to base those concerns upon, you can always have a DNA test, but try not to worry about it right now. Too much other stuff on your mind.
Sandi
My lawyers said requesting a DNA test will hurt my cause so he suggested using an internet kit.
One challenge is what do I do if I find out something bad.....
Am I a strong enough man/person/father to continue....
I pray for the strenght and wisdom that I am
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Just keep getting your anger out here b/c what she did is horrible and the way she "played" you as if you were one of those "numbers" of men on her list. She is in a very bad place right now as if she has gone kind of crazy with flirting with the men. But, if she is having sex with one.....or more, or "plans" to have sex with others...then she has really gone wild.
It's not if she had sex with one, the emails clearly prove she did BEFORE she filed for divorce.
Now that I know and I see she is actively out there, that is not the woman I married
Problem is my lawyer said this still doesnt' help me get primary custody....
This is the really crappy part.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
just wanted to make you aware that you will have mega prayers from me and others tonight. Stay in control buddy ..you are the one that the kids are countin on.
Leave it with God my friend. This nonsense is something we are with out a doubt incapable of handling and straightening on our own. He is the one and only healer and repairer. Let Him do His work.
If you need to take a break from these boards then jump off of here for a while. Spool down ..get in touch with current and old buddies. Bottom line keep busy in healthy outlets and channels. And if you like to pray or think that you might then make use of strengthening ties to our Father. He wants you to draw near to Him. He will protect you and the kids.
cipa, this is my first post, I'm new here so my comment probably won't count as much... but I've been doing a lot of reading.
Firstly, I am a Christian, but don't agree in leaving everything to blind faith. Yes, prayer helps, but God also helps those who help themselves.
With that in mind read up in DCBHM's story. He is currently on his second D. In the first one he won custody of his son and now in the process of the 2nd where he is preparing to get custody there too.
Now you know where the "I hate your f*** p***" came from.
I'm routing and praying for you too brother.
Last edited by Gnosis; 08/11/0904:24 AM. Reason: added a sentence
just wanted to make you aware that you will have mega prayers from me and others tonight. Stay in control buddy ..you are the one that the kids are countin on.
Leave it with God my friend. This nonsense is something we are with out a doubt incapable of handling and straightening on our own. He is the one and only healer and repairer. Let Him do His work.
If you need to take a break from these boards then jump off of here for a while. Spool down ..get in touch with current and old buddies. Bottom line keep busy in healthy outlets and channels. And if you like to pray or think that you might then make use of strengthening ties to our Father. He wants you to draw near to Him. He will protect you and the kids.
T
Thanks for all the support T and everybody
I have been chatting with my therapist tonite (it was set up a couple of weeks ago), my cousin, my aunt and my close buddy in PA. I have been praying for the strength and wisdom to make the right decisions.
I appreciate everyone's prayers.
This is a really trying time. I can't believe she has gotten this off the path. But right now I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it. I need to make sure I am prepared for the new direction I am heading with the boys.
I really had wished that I could have busted this divorce, but she had crossed a boundary I had set a long time ago. I will not accept being lied and cheated on. Even when she left, I asked if she was planning on still behaving as a married woman. She said she would. Of course I didn't know she had been sleeping with someone else when we were married.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
cipa, this is my first post, I'm new here so my comment probably won't count as much... but I've been doing a lot of reading.
Firstly, I am a Christian, but don't agree in leaving everything to blind faith. Yes, prayer helps, but God also helps those who help themselves.
With that in mind read up in DCBHM's story. He is currently on his second D. In the first one he won custody of his son and now in the process of the 2nd where he is preparing to get custody there too.
Now you know where the "I hate your f*** p***" came from.
I'm routing and praying for you too brother.
Wow you have been doing a lot of reading - that quote came from back in Feb/Mar!
THanks for your support.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Just popped in to check up on your thread. Man, I am so sorry about your sitch. I thought I had it bad with my W's one POS OM in an EA (now possible PA). I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. I'll keep you and your kids in my prayers. Take care.
M: 41 W: 39 S: 11 S: 10 D: 4 1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09 EA began: 2/14/09 EA discovered: 3/1/09 I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself _______________________________
This has really been a tough week. I couldn't sleep again yesterday. I woke up shaking with disgust of what my wife has done since Sept. The lies, the cheating and want to vomit.
I had thought about how much pain she must have felt to do something like this, but know that NO amount of "hurt" that she felt justifies all the lies to do something so disgusting.
She violated our vows. She violated my trust when I asked her point blank if there was someone else a couple of times.
I know why she's been "nice" a few times, it was out of pure GUILT.
I really do appreciate all the support I have gotten from people here. It is good to know that there is a small community of decent, good people out there that take their commitment to marriage seriously for better or worse.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
So the pretense continues before the bomb gets dropped on her last week
She sent me a text with something funny my 7 year old. Her text ended with LOL. I just replied back that it was definitely LOL.
Tough part will be seeing her in person. My 3 year old told me he invited mommy to watch us play baseball in the park on sat
I've got to get my game face ready for that
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
