Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey everyone!! T, Lisa, Andabelle, Rob, Mish, Michelle, Dawn, Julia, Dia, Addie (where you been!?) thanks for your kind words and for following me.

Its wierd being in this position. I feel like I have this giant metaphorical foam hand pointing at me, like I am one of the few here, I know. Why me? Its very very wierd. But I always knew we would get back together. He said, he knew too deep down and that noone really believed he had moved on either!

We have his oldest BMF and W staying with us. She was the key person that kept my hope alive. They are our bestest couple friends and it cements our R to have them stay with us again, first time since just before the bomb. We are having a bottle of champagne and going for a meal with them tonight, bf's idea, an unspoken celebration. He always was a lovely man, but he is surpassing himself lately!

Yesterday I had to drive him to collect something from Helens office! Its near to mine and his (I work for the same organisation as her now again, but I doubt our paths will cross). I was curious in case we did see her, but he said it hadnt even crossed his mind! So I think he has let go of her now.

I quizzed him about staying friends with her, would he prefer to? He said only as he cant bear to be hated and she hates him, but no, he doesnt want to be friends with her because he wants to draw a line under it and relegate it to the past and because it wouldnt be right and because of respect for me. Lastly, he did finally admit they had nothing in common in the end, apart from work! So, I am also lucky to have NO ongoing ow problems or fear of their R reigniting.

He said a funny thing. He said he knew it was over when she upset him by referring to The Smiths as "the smith-ees"! He was being a little flippant, but there was some truth in that, they werent suited. I did good DBing by keeping those connections between us, musically. Poor Helen, she didnt stand a chance!

BMF W talked to me again last night about the time her H snogged her BFF. 5 years ago, just a snog, but a big betrayal. It is still bothering her and is an issue in their M. I said she should work on her forgiveness of exBFF and H. It made me realise just what I have done and had to cope with. Her H of 10 years never left her and it was just a snog (and then some texts/emails).. my bf of 10 years DID leave me, wouldnt tell me where he lived, was gone 18 months and dated someone else for 8 months and I have let it go, more than she has and forgiven him completely. It made me realise what a huge deal it is and how far we have come already in just 3 months. She said my bf is the lucky one, to have another chance, that I took him back.

I think (reading Kalnis posts too) that when the penny drops with these men.. its like OMG, what did I do?! And then the remorse and just wanting to never have anything to do with the ow ever again. Its like they get blindsided and possessed and are NOT themselves. Our problems started May 2006 too, so it was 3 YEARS in all and he is only now coming out the other side of it and feeling happy once again.