Umm, I guess the experienced posters will weigh in with the tough love vs unconditional love dilemma in due time.

I'm not qualified to say much myself, but it seems to me that you have made yourself too readily available and things way too easy for your W. She really doesn't have a downside, does she?

The amount of conflict she seems to be undergoing ... really seems to be atypical without the presence of an OM.

Me 42
W 39
Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992
First Bomb: Sep 2007
Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007
Kids: D10, S5
Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak.
3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.