A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Thanks, folks.

Despondent. That's a good word for me at the moment. H has been awesome. Lots of hugs, stroked my hair, stroked my arm - there was even a moment when I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me. Kidlet sort of put the kibosh on the movie date - not kidlet's fault. It sort of just didn't happen the way I think we thought it would.

So here I am on the frikken couch. H has been wonderful and the hugs have had more and more tenderness in them but God it would have been nice to sleep in the Master bed. Not just to be close to H - and hell yes I'd have been hoping he'd hold me - but also because the Master bed is such this safe and sacred place. Just being in the room was soothing for me. Was it too much to ask to sleep there?? (venting)

Yeah, it was and I didn't ask but sodditall, I wish he'd offered. He did offer me the futon in the guest room but that's where I slept when things got really bad and no way in heck am I going back into that room with those feelings in it.

Grump!!

Gramma - we'll never know exactly what happened, but she has a fractured skull, a collapsed lung from the CPR and 1st and 2nd degree burns on her back from laying so long on the hot pavement. (And boy does that last one just break my heart.) She is on life support, but because of the DNR order, it will be withdrawn once the family has had time to gather. She is not expected to regain consciousness.

I will go for the funeral, but the good-bye I had with her is a far better way for me to remember her than in the hospital. The family are all in shock. Her health was so much better than his that we expected her to outlive him by several years. When he went into the hospital this week, we were worried that *he* might not come out. Nobody ever thought we'd lose Gramma instead.

Her birthday was Aug. 23rd.

Her ICU nurse is my sister's high school sweetheart. He recognized Gramma when she came in and has been at her bedside almost non-stop. My sister's cell phone was dead today, and Charlie drove to her house to tell her because none of us could get her on the phone.

He's divorced; so is she. Would be interesting to see if they rekindle something after this.