Have just re-read ur sitch as I wanted to make sure I was familiar before I posted. Although my sitch looks somewhat positive in your eyes I have to tell you I spent months doing nothing significant in repairing and in fact, feeling like I was going backwards.
With the benefit of hindsight I can now say that working on my own goals and taking things day at a time were positive steps. Everytime I saw/communicated with H it was sending him a new message about me. Hopefully it was that I wasn't so desperate for his love. I'm sure my desperation to fix things scared him off.
Keep strong and remember and celebrate your own wonderful qualities. It's these qualities that will shine through in further communications with w.
