Well I think that your H is probably very angry with you. And he has every right to be. That being said; you need to be worrying about yourself and your baby right now. You are 7 months pregnant. Worry about that, regardless of what happens with the marriage, or boyfriend, you will deal with this child for the rest of your life, right now, that should be your focus.
The military has some really good resources, I think that its FOH, or Work/life but you are entitiled to 5 or 6 sessions, confidential, with a therapist, and at any time, your H can join you in those sessions. (Im a military wife as well)
Im glad that hes still talking to you, hopefully thats a good sign. If you honestly dont remember these things, he might be able to find forgivness a little easier. But I have to say, I dont completely believe that you can blame this entire thing on your meds. And I think that you are making a mistake by not accepting responsibility for this and allowing it all to fall on the drugs. You might be surprised at how you taking accountability for this will affect him, you dont just get off scott-free when you do something stupid when you are blacked-out drunk, do you?
Its going to be really, really hard for your H to see past this, you have to remember that you dont have years of positive memories punctuated by one horrific incident. You have less than a year of even knowing eachother. You have to be patient with this. And hopefully start creating new memories that will remind him about the woman that he fell in love with.
I think that it would be a really good idea for you to have a plan about an eventuality where your H, and the COLA and tricare wont be there. Just in case. You can be acting As-if your H will come home and you will live happily ever after, but you have a baby to worry about now, so you need to be figuring out how to be independent, just in case. And, no matter what happens in your M, I dont think that making some preparations is a bad thing.
Are you going to seek DNA testing? Is there a significant feature that will tell you whos baby it is?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
