Well, when W came home tonight, she burst into tears when she entered the house. Told me how she is so sad, how she can't bear to lose me, doesn't want't find a new place to live, is dreading telling the boys.
This is all still her plan. She's just really upset about it. She says she can't draw it out. She said that she hates how she is, that she is so restless - she said she wishes she was one of those women who could make it work.
Well, I told her in any event she's not going to lose me. We did a lot of hugging, holding, comforting. She asked me why I couldn't just get mad at her and be an a$$hole because it would make it easier. I don't know if it was a screw-up but I said to her, I shouldn't say this, but it's because I love you, unconditionally. She still wants us to be there for each other, etc. She said to me, "I care so much about you..."
So she took a bath, came out and watched TV - put her legs on me, and I gave her comfort. Then she went to her room to go to bed.
She asked me if I'd "signed up for the club", I think is how she put it - asking if I was back on this message board.
She's so conflicted that she's going to lose me - by leaving. I know I've got to leave her to figure it out on her own. But it was good to hold on to her for a little while. Seems like she's still determined to do it quickly.
