hopefully it will all come together ...strap the kids to the roof and bring that Jersey girl along to so that there is not a gender imbalance or nuttin. that is if we can pry cipa away from his heavy duty work/commuting schedule.
this would be fun. a smile event. we don't get much a that around here ..it seems
CIPA....I'm so sorry. I truly am. But take a few days. Think things through. I do believe you when you say you are done, but take this time for you and for your boys to really think all of this through carefully. You can always move forward...backward is much more difficult.
I'll be the Devil's Advocate....what if in the last two weeks she's called all of it off? What if she's now come to her senses and realizes what all of us know? That you're an amazing man, father and husband?
Take this slowly.
I'm not even sure you need to confront her if you make the decision to move foward with D. Just do it and when she asks tell her you know about the affair(s) and when she tries to question you tell her "The point of D is so we don't have to answer to each other anymore" and leave it at that.
When you confront your wife DO NOT tell her how you obtained your information. When she tries to deny, blame, etc. Put up your hand in a "stop" and say: "Wife, stop lying to me about your affair. I find it completely disrespectful. I will not stay in a marriage that includes third parties." Keep your statements about YOUR boundaries -- then she can't accuse you of being controlling.
Have you ever read Puppy's posts? He's a master at the care and handling of WAW in affairs.
I know exactly how hurt and angry you are, been there, but for the sake of your boys - you need to concentrate on establishing a strong co-parent relationship.
And by the way, one of my sons looks NOTHING like me, but I know he's mine, because I gave birth to him. Don't jump to conclusions about paternity based on looks!
I agree. My son looks nothing like me or my H, but I saw him when I gave birth...so I know they didn't get him mixed up at the hospital. I know when you hurt bad enough the mind doesn't function as well as it should and you start to imagine things worse than they are. Don't worry about the S3 not being yours based on him not looking like you, okay? If you have something else to base those concerns upon, you can always have a DNA test, but try not to worry about it right now. Too much other stuff on your mind.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'll be the Devil's Advocate....what if in the last two weeks she's called all of it off? What if she's now come to her senses and realizes what all of us know? That you're an amazing man, father and husband?
Take this slowly.
Put it this way, I also have access to her match dot com account and she has sent out "winks" to 6 guys in the last 2 days.
So do I care if she comes to her senses tomorrow, 2 weeks, 2 months, ever?!?!?!
No
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Stay strong and once again DONT let YOUR EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU. Allow yourself time to feel the pain then cool down and FIGHT for your FAMILY if that is what you choose.
Remember your W is in a fog right now. Like you have said for the last 8 mons. "For better or worse...." this is her worst. Show her that you will help her through this by thinking RATIONALLY and do what's best for your family. Now is the time to figure out your NUTS and set BOUNDARIES.
Hold the line.
PMA
Did you read the email?!?!!? She is a fat pig whore that I will never share a bed or touch again.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Just keep getting your anger out here b/c what she did is horrible and the way she "played" you as if you were one of those "numbers" of men on her list. She is in a very bad place right now as if she has gone kind of crazy with flirting with the men. But, if she is having sex with one.....or more, or "plans" to have sex with others...then she has really gone wild.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
