we arent in the same state!!

[sgctxok]

Hi Mary El....

I'm glad you found us. VH (Virtually Handsome) gave you great advice. When you find something that isn't working....stop it. When you do more of what DOESN'T work...things get WORSE....so that's a great reason to stop.

And talking is not going to get it for you....that's ok....because it's just information. And--most of our communication is non-verbal, anyway.

So now....you are going to play a GREAT game of mystery. Try not to move out of the house. No nagging, but don't take care of all of the responsibilities too. Like HIS laundry, HIS things. (DO take care of things that YOU should take care of, like picking up after yourself....but DON'T pick up after HIM if he comes around.)


I want to say something that Michele said to me early on. This guy MIGHT be your basic non-committal type, and while you can change so much about your dynamics, you are not going to change who he is. So while you can get him back.....be careful what you ask for. It is always going to be a lot of work to get your needs met. (That is....the things that lead you to nag might still be there, so you will have to find another way.)

Do you want to do that?


On the other hand.....it's always good for it to be YOUR decision and not his. So .... work it girl. Go for the goal.


Look your best, smell your best....etc. Be mysterious....that means ... not weird, but don't be predictable. Don't be very available to him. DO NOT try to 'talk' about it. And avoid the conversation. If you get 'stuck'....just listen. Tell him you really want to understand his point of view. Then you are NOT going to give your point of view. YOU will WAIT a few days. And think about it.