A screw up is a mistake, maybe two, if you stretch it maybe even three. It's not three years or more of living a double life, playing viscious emotional games with people you profess to love.
I hope he IS devastated. He should be. Unfortunately it could be a very long time before even he knows whether he is devastated for the incredible pain he has caused in others, or because he's finally been found out.
You are processing all this too, and I imagine it will take some time. It's so difficult having to look back on past events and reevaluate them in light of what you now know. It may be human nature for us to do so in a time like this, but in the end I wonder if it doesn't just make us crazy. Maybe it's enough, for a time at least, to accept that so much of your confusion and mixed signals were justified. I know it doesn't make the hurt or betrayal less, but maybe it helps with the sanity.
You are a strong woman. Clearly much stronger than this man, regardless of the good parts of the past you shared. He is NOT indicative ofa failing within YOU. His problems and issues are HIS and he must deal with them for the benefit of his future.
You on the other hand are left with making your way through this mess he has included you in, and I pray you will do so without beating yourself up along the way.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
