we arent in the same state!!

[MaryEL]

HI Kara,
Thanks for stopping by.. and for the hope! I didnt go into too many details because I am afraid if I open the flood gates.. I will write a novel.. so here is some info.. feel free to ask for more.

He is military so he had to transfer up north for part of a 3 yr det.. as we had a newer home and he would be going out to sea alot..I stayed in the house down south. He will transfer back to my location after 2 years up north. ( in 3 months)

I am his 2nd marriage, he is my 1st.. and the dynamics of the 1st - x wife and kids of course bring their own issues. His leaving for 6 months at at a time was not an issue as I am a military child. so I am comfortable with that. however.. when he was home and when his children lived with us.. he really didnt do the dad thing well.. not a nurturer.. my strong independent personality must have been what attracted him to me, as he was comfortable letting me run the house, his life and deal with the xwife drama as well as anything else that was not military or fun... thus over the years I resented him not being involved and he resented my nagging for him to get more involved. we seperated angry when he had to move up north, but agreed shortly after that we would work together to communicate and work on the M... he is not a communicator and I am tooo much so!

we have handled things via email and phone calls. even when he was home I would email him as he was so involved with his career we would go days with out really talking..

since he dropped the bomb.. I have initiated communication unless he needs something. ( like the title to his old vehicle so he could trade it for a new racy one!!)

He has decided he is tired of everything ( his family, mom siblings etc and kids and x wife all only communicate with him when they want something.usually money. they did not go far in life and he has)

Now due to my nagging and running his life so well over the years he has decided he wants to be independent and I am no longer needed..

well I will stop now.. and hope that someone who sees this has some feedback to help me understand where he is coming from and how best to be supportive for him and try to rebuild a better marriage! thank you ...