Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Greek]

Also, and of real concern is the crisis with her mom, and my real desire to "have her back" (thanks Greek) through this. Despite it all, I want to be there for her where she needs it.

What about giving her an open ended opp to visit her mom? "Hey, just let me know when you want to go for a visit - to help or be there for a treatment - whatever - and I'll arrange the flights...and the boys will be fine...I'll take care of that. You just go and be there for your mom." Or something like that.

But...

At the same time, W is starting to once again trample on some of the boundaries that I have clearly set during the past 8 months.

Example: No Contact with OM. I have had to clearly express this one numerous times in the past 8 months. She breaks off contact, then after a while starts reaching out to him again - until I stumble on it. A number of months ago I clearly and calmly asked her to delete him from her facebook friends because she was using it to watch him and stay in contact. She complied.

Now, I just got notified by Facebook that my W has a new "Friend" - OM.

This is a deliberate act to re-establish contact, and one she had to know I would notice (Facebook announces it!)

You have to call her on this and definitively. You will NOT stand for that. You were specific when you said no contact and she is jerking you around on a boundary you set.
She can have him for a friend but there is a cost and you tell her what it is... She can FB him, text him all she wants but not under your roof. Big Girl Panties time. She is either YOUR faithful wife or she is on her own. Not both. Period. That is just the kind of man you are.

Limbo has really worked in her favor and fully against yours. Limbo gives her time to put feelers out and establish a world beyond you. Nip that. Not bc it's good for her but bc it's bad for your family. Time for tough love, Thinker. You have cards, too.

Call that meeting to order. You are worth her fidelity.

Greek