Life's too short; I don't want to regret wasting my life.
And THIS one, which just really peeved the heck out of me:
You'll never change. You can't change.
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
ok Im new here.. I definately see many I am hearing on this list... so ... now what do we do with it when we hear it??
M - 45 1st marriage H - 45 2nd M -T - 14 yrs M - 13 yrs S - due to job location since 1/08 B - 7/6/2009 EA revealed -9/3/2009 began 6/09 E/A end 9/09 piercing: since 10/09 long distance
I really think that they believe some of these things. It is just where they are.
But it is interesting that they say we cannot change when THEY have changed so much. On a tangent here (kinda), but what do you do when someone tells you that you CANNOT do something. Prove em wrong or continue to do the things that prove em right?
MaryEL - depending on the facts of the sitch good DB would tell us to accept their feelings by saying something like "I am sorry you feel that way but that is not how I see it" and by giving space for them to evaluate and rethink without pressure (NOT pursuing, begging crying etc). What did most of us do? Pursue, beg, cry.
Kara, thanks.. Yes I have begged cried and pleaded.. oddly I have been telling him for years I am unhappy.. But he has been living away for 1.5 yrs and we were supposidly working on things as best we could during the seperation. Now he is due home and says hes done. of course it seems you realize what you have when you find you have lost it So what I am having difficulty with is how do I DB when we arent in the same state? ( see my post on that under newbies.. if you would like to give me some advise!! )
thanks much!
M - 45 1st marriage H - 45 2nd M -T - 14 yrs M - 13 yrs S - due to job location since 1/08 B - 7/6/2009 EA revealed -9/3/2009 began 6/09 E/A end 9/09 piercing: since 10/09 long distance
Im new here I didn't see, or has anybody else heard this one. If knew then what I know now. Aleins 12 Oclock high. By the way Ive heard most of these from W, finally said enough with broken record.
Me 51 W 46 T 28 M 25 WAW ILYBINILWY Sep 3/13/09 FRI 13th Its OK God is all around me.
I must admit that the if I knew then quote is one I have been thinking lol.. and Im not the one wanting a D... but yea I think we have all heard so many of them. its great to have a place where others understand where you are coming from.. I so dont want to drive my friends crazy with all of the ups and downs of this stuff !
M - 45 1st marriage H - 45 2nd M -T - 14 yrs M - 13 yrs S - due to job location since 1/08 B - 7/6/2009 EA revealed -9/3/2009 began 6/09 E/A end 9/09 piercing: since 10/09 long distance
So what I am having difficulty with is how do I DB when we arent in the same state? ( see my post on that under newbies.. if you would like to give me some advise!! )