water - i haven't even opened after the affair yet, i am actually a bit reluctant to. i am not sure i am ready to handle the pain all over again. i have successfully blocked alot of the affair out of my head, and i am scared to read this and maybe feel like hubby should read it too and i just know he wont - oh well, we shall see. i have gone thru the first few chapters of the goodbye to guilt one, interesting stuff there

deb - as usual my sweet, thank you for checking up on me. i read your thread early this morning and i must say, good things are happening for you! i am glad that the apple butter worked!!! WOOHOO - i will stop by today...

opt - see above anyhoo, i will read it, i think i need to. btw - did your hubby read it also?

azure - thank you so much for stopping by my thread. yeah, i am happy with the way things are turning out!

shiny - yeah, i don't think that is the case, take a look at my update and you will see why

t2 - my sister in crime - actually t2, i was fully prepared for him to distance himself completely, but i was and have been surprised ever since, take a look at my update after i get all my thank yous done

pam - you have had WONDERFUL things happening in your sitch girl, don't BACKSLIDE whatever you do. he is starting to come around and if you keep your kewl (patience) you will win! congrats!!!!

sue (hoping) - wow, i just love it when the vets visit my thread! i have a feeling he doesn't feel like he did something wrong, take a look at my update, instead i do believe it opened a door for us communication wise - the whole sex issue was a hard one for me to overcome. i had felt at one time that sex was the sign that we were mutually working on this, but i have since learned otherwise. i know sex will come, eventually, but we have to work on US first

zoo - oh yeah, i am still reeling from the pma boost...i am loving it. this was a major breakthru for us, and it even carried on over the weekend, read my update and you will understand - again, i don't feel he unloaded too much cause of this weekend

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first i have to apologize for being very sparce the last few days. altho i have kept up with everyones sitch, i had a lot of things to assimilate and work out in my mind that i just felt i was useless to offer any encouragement or anything USEFUL to any of you except for maybe a GOOD JOB or something, and you all deserve so much more than that

oh oh, rambling again

ok, friday hubby had to go out of town on business. it was also the weekend where the boys spend it with thier mother, so i had a weekend alone with daughter. hubby was going to use the weekend not only for business but to take a much needed break (hasn't had one in two years)

ok, so i told him when he left to have fun! he called when he got to his hotel to tell me good night which was about 9:30 - and at 11:30 he called and woke me up. he kept telling me he was sorry but he needed to talk to me.

i said, honey what's wrong. seems there had been some kind of altercation at his ex's house with the boys and her husband. pretty nasty stuff and she was on the phone with him for over an hour. he called to tell me the whole story (now what you really need to know is that he seldom talks to me about his boys as a listening ear type thing) so he went thru the whole story and his take on the whole thing and what i thought. i just validated everything he said and at the end he told me thank you so much for listening, it feels good to talk to you! (YEAH)

so saturday he has his business meeting then pretty much the day free. well, he calls me like 8 times that day. i kept telling him that he is on vacation and he needs to have fun, and he tells me "it's no vacation without you and the kids" - (awwwwwww)

sunday, on the drive home he gets the whole story from the boys what happened (it was nasty) and when he gets home he lays in bed and tells me the whole story, again asking me what would i do. i still only validate everything he said and told him that i had confidence that he would make the right decision

monday he gets up and goes to work, not much interaction, but he tells me later on that morning that he called ex and settled the situation. i told him excellent, i know that he feels better for doing that. he said yes, it was only because i talked it out with you that i got thru it, thank you! i said your welcome it was my pleasure.

he then proceeds to tell me that after their conversation his ex starts talking smack about her husband. my husband told her, look, whatever it is about you and your husband it is between you two, if it's about the kids i will talk all day long, but i cannot listen to you about you and your husbands problems

OH MY GOODNESS - he did it AGAIN!!!! now, keep in mind there is no love lost between him and his ex, but the mear fact that he again acknowledged that he could not listen to ANOTHER WOMAN'S problems is a HELLA MILESTONE, and HE TOLD ME AGAIN

so you see peeps??????? i don't think that what happened the other night had any effect on him (that he felt he did something wrong) because he is sharing with me and again he is telling me things that i would have no way of knowing and he really didn't need to tell me

and, him trusting me with his feelings about his kids, that is a MILESTONE - and a definite 180 for me is to keep my big mouth shut when he did and it worked!!!!

oh yeah, still flying high, and noticing big things!!!!

oh, and there was definitely some cuddling going on last night in bed. ahhhhh, that was nice

kitti