I'm right there with you. I heard through FIL that H wants to discuss reducing the child support as he's struggling to make ends meet. I empathize with the struggle, but he's paying the state MINIMUM for child support. If he wants to ease the financial sitch, he needs to *&^%#8@! RECONCILE.
Otherwise, so sorry, but we have this very nice written agreement that's filed with the courts that I wanted no part in.
To H: You're the one who thought this would be 'for the best'. Read 'em and weep, then write the friggen' check.
Grumpy Venting Dia
Last edited by Dia; 08/10/0901:23 AM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Well SP, at least be grateful there was enough money for the divorce to even proceed. I don't have the $ to divorce shmedlap and my ship is sinking fast, plus he is loving the control...a hundred bucks here or there...give him a list of expenses if I want more $. So, he gets to be my daddy for a while.
F*ck it. If I can keep my PMA, so can you. Hang in there. This is the worst of it.
And maybe you don't need to be so friendy that you are privy to her indulgences. This is a perverse and brutal element of having trusted and leaned on our spouses financially.
I don't know what to say about it other than...keep going.
I'm right there with Smiley and you. The ONLY discussions she wants to have (other than asking, no, telling me, to get S14 away from her when he's being disrespectful) are about the parenting agreement and HER budget.
The sense of entitlement is mindboggling. At this point, I need to just push this along and, hopefully, when she gets a dose of reality, she'll realize she has to, as Greek says, put on her big girl panties, because this is her D and she isn't entitled to the windfall.
SP, if all I have to give her is 1/3rd I'll be happy.
When are you heading off to stock up on Lederhosen?
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
Ugh. The pits today. Nothing WAW did, other than to be WAW, but I had to ask for the child support early and...f**k...*sigh*...the having to ask..... Like @alive was saying...the loss if control. And even if it wasn't that, the mere asking is just another farking reminder.... How is it that being married, the condition of married-hood, isn't this all-consuming - you go thru the day "being" married but not infinitely conscious of being married - but every godd*m moment of the day now is a "divorcing" moment. I mean, I'm talking to this guy about doing some part-time teaching for him, and I have to explain why it is, exactly, that I'm willing to drive 2 hours each way three times a week to teach an hour each of those days for slave-wage. "Well there's this divorce you see....". When do I get to not be someone who's getting divorced? Faaaaaaaaa ... K! I feel like I'm coming down with something. It's sapping my mojo. Pffeh.
Seriously SP, remember what many before us of great character have done to support their families and make do. We have no choice but to handle it. I'm feeling it too...
When the dust settles, the scales will tip a little more even. Right now, the WAS has control. It is temporary. Long temporary, but temporary none the less.
2) Walk on the beach in the direction of your choice.
3) As you walk, pick up rocks and put them in the bag. Don't get teeny pebbles, think golf ball or egg size.
4) When you've walked far enough and you have enough rocks, stop and face the water.
5) Throw each rock as hard as you can into the water. If you're alone, say something with each one, like, "This is for your friggen OM" and "THIS is because I had to break down and ask you for money."
6) When you're out of rocks, breathe deeply and gaze out over the water. Smell the cool, salt air. Watch for seals or dolphins. Marvel at the beauty of the ocean.
7) Walk back to car. Save bag for next time.
Last edited by Dia; 08/10/0910:37 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I really like that, Dia. I live between 4 lakes. Lots of rocks on them shores.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
