Hey Maria, just got in and read your recent post as well as all the ones from the folks who care for you here. I agree with all of them. Maybe FIB and I lack some of the politically correctness and perhaps what can be perceived as kindness in our posts, however, we are all saying the same things. YOU DESERVE ALOT BETTER than what H has dished out in the last couple of years. Gypsy summed it up nicely with her usual prose but with an edge this time... It is normal for you to still have feelings. I think we all have them from time. When I reason with myself however, they slowly fade. I often ask myself what would happen if XW would come back and feel remorse and apologize (won't happen). I know what should happen and that is me telling her that she is not the type of person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What kind of relationship would we have? Once the trust is gone, the rest fades away as well. Ok...enough about me...well you asked for it....here it goes: This was not a one night stand Maria...THREE YEARS....off and on.....LIES on his whereabouts and even her existance! I know that this has blind sided you....during our exchanges you barely believed she even existed. This must have come as a huge shock. Do not feel ashamed.... You were on your way to ending it on the 25th if things did not change....things did change....for the worse. I am sorry I even defended him in the past....what has transpired in the last three years is punishable by hanging by the part of his anatomy that he has been using elsewhere! If he were a real person (remember that book you suggested the Real man or something like that...hell I even read it), he would have admitted his errors and supported you and your kids financially during the last two years instead of keeping all his cash from two jobs for himself. PLEASE do not tell me he has no clue about finances.... He would have gone to counselling with you to try to make it work....he would have tried to make amends for his behaviour someway, somehow....Definately NOT by ignoring you and your needs (I am not only talking physical needs). He would have taken the leed....Instead he decided to do what????? LIE to everyone! Is this the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Forget about talking to the OW....she is as bad as he is......
