I have also read 'After the Affair'. Great book. Made me understand how my H could actually feel relieved when he saw my car parked by OW's in front of his office. It only took me 5 months...
As to your ML problem, I agree it is a good idea to wait until he is ready. But make sure he does not misunderstand. You will know when... lady Patience.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
