It is so, so difficult to stay positive, but I am trying my hardest. I know this is going to be a long tough road to travel. It hurts so much. It seems like I can be having a really good day, then my H calls and upsets me. I know there is no rationalizing with him right now.
Yesterday we spoke several times and all he does is defend the OW. I don't ask about her, but yesterday I told him that I appreciate the financial support he is continuing to give me, but I would also appreciate some compassion and emotional support. I told him he has literally stripped me of my happy life, my hopes and dreams. I am losing my husband, my home, everything we've worked so hard to build together is going away. He just said he isn't dwelling on it and I shouldn't either. That he is moving on with his life and I should do the same thing. I told him it's so easy for him to say that and move on because he has someone that lifts him up, makes him happy and smile. I have friends and family which have been tremendously helpful, but I don't have the emotional connection with someone like he thinks he has with OW. He continued to tell me that this is very hard on him too, and he is hurting. But after more prodding, I've realized that what he was saying was that he isn't hurting about our marriage breaking up, he is hurting because he feels like he can't commit fully to OW since he still has "baggage" with me. He is also hurting because he feels like he won't ever be able to bring OW back home to meet his family and friends because they have informed him that they would not welcome her. And that hurts, that he hurts more about her than me. Neither he nor she are the ones suffering!! I am the one who is suffering...but my feelings apparently aren't as important as hers.
