oh yeah tal, there hasn't been any of that since about two months BEFORE the bomb, so in actuality, it's been about 6.5 months of celibacy
i think i might have made that clear in some of my earlier threads but i forget that i have only been in piecing for a short while and you all don't know the WHOLE story
thank you so much pam for your vote of confidence, sometimes i really feel i ramble on here and i don't make any sense so it's nice to know when i do
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ok, following sages example, i am going to be reading two new books, and then posting my findings here. first is "goodbye to guilt - releaseing fear through forgiveness" by gerald jampolsky and the second is "after the affair" by janis abrahams spring
I have also read 'After the Affair'. Great book. Made me understand how my H could actually feel relieved when he saw my car parked by OW's in front of his office. It only took me 5 months...
As to your ML problem, I agree it is a good idea to wait until he is ready. But make sure he does not misunderstand. You will know when... lady Patience.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Wow, Kitti, this is really an inspiration to those of us who hope our spouses "get it." It's so nice to hear of such MATURITY! Yeah, and like Optimist, I want to know -- to which god must I pray to get like results. I will dance around the Beltane fires in my goatskin pants, or whatever!
okay , Okay, it WAS your call and you know your H better than any of US!!!
I'll reiterate what Tal said...as long as HE didn't think you needed to get away because what he'd shared was "too much" or taken badly etc...but that doesn't sound like the case.
I think you handled the exchange with your H like a damn DB pro. How thoughtful of you NOT to add to the exhausting pressure your H must have felt in revealing so much to you that night. You are brilliant.
Knowing me, I probably would have taken that golden opportunity you had and stomped all over it like some greedy child begging for more candy...but YOU handled it with great maturity and compassion. I'm so proud of you.
You and your H have turned THE CORNER...now is the toughest time. Be prepared for him to distance a little. He may feel he's said or exposed himself to much and so he may back up a teeny bit to see how it goes. You're right to give him his space to "live" with himself and his 'revelation'.
You have a great advantage here in that you've taken the time to learn how to manage (or handle) some of this insanity without personalizing it too much.
You're on your way to getting what you want. Keep up the good work. Hugs, T2
