When my STBX had her affair a few years ago, eventually did what you did - I saw all the exchanges between them - from text messages to emails - and it was grueling - particularly because it was never enough...it was just enough to hurt me - but there was never any kind of answer in those words between them - just the awareness that she was lost to me in some way...I took her back after that - and sometimes I think it was my mistake...since I never allowed her to look at herself the way your H must now look at himself.
I had the same thing happen with my STBX. I took her back and here we are again. She has never been 'alone' so she has never had to look at herself or take RESPONSIBILTY for her actions. She could always blame me.
Now, she has OM (man-boy) and is living poorly. I hope she learns and grows from this.
Kalni, he got caught in his lies. Plain and simple. Now he doesn't want to pay the penalty. Give him the gift of allowing him to own his consequences and pay his penalty. Allow him to hurt and suffer for what he has done.
Stop the snooping and wanting to talk to them both. It only hurts you and prolongs your pain. Let go. Drop the rope.
