deb - ha! the thing about the book. it's so funny because when the bomb first happened a good girlfriend of mine (who experienced the same thing and is back with her husband for over two years) told me, "don't listen to what they say, it seems like they are given a book of things to do to their mates and say to their mates to create the most hurt and havok in life - they are just following some MAN code" - this from a woman who does not know about db'n - oh maybe in her own way. they need to have a book on how they get themselves out of this!!!! thanks for visiting deb! always a pleasure!!!
sage - yes sage, i see the difference. i will learn obiwan!
pam = glad my sitch could give you a smile. soon woman, you will be there, it takes um, uh, what? PATIENCE - something i am STILL working on!!! as far as the jumping thing, will be handling that issue in my journaling
tal - i feel the same way. the most important thing he did was tell me. he didn't have to, mainly because NOTHING happened, but he knew it was an issue so he shared it with me. and the other thing is that he didn't have to share all the rest, but he felt comfortable. i at one point grabbed his hand and looked him straight in the eye and said "thank you SO MUCH for telling me this. i know in the past i have not been easy to approach with things like this so i REALLY appreciate the trust" - that took his breath away...i could see it in his face. about the jumping bones, i will explain in my journaling.
water - i am! i am! funny how in the past we would take so much for granted, like those three little words, well, i will NEVER do that again
shiny - and so the velvety 2x4's start. i will approach this subject of why i didn't say anything in my journaling for today. TANGIBLE - yes, it's amazing how this one little baby step (huge leap) has given my spirits and my hope a BIG DOSE of PMA - wow, just being SO AWARE of the little things. it's funny shiny, but in the past, this kind of conversation would not have gone this way. i would be looking for the negatives in everything he said, but this time i truly just LISTENED and i HEARD him!!!
opt - To which God do I have to pray to have my H receive a similar illumination? - oh yeah opt, it's the GOD OF PATIENCE!!! boy, do i see why NOW that PATIENCE is so so needed in our sitches because these people will eventually get it if we aint bugging them about it. about the jumping thing, will be explaining that in my journal, but i don't think i really left him with a feeling that he did anything wrong. gosh, at least i hope i didn't because when i came back in we were just like we were before i took my walk. we had a ball watching a surfing documentary (something we are BOTH into) and it was really nice
kaw - as one of the few guys in this sitch, i think i may need to ask you a few guestions about things, to get a male perspective. but that is for another day. will be handling the why i didn't jump his bones in my journaling...
bill - dude, talking about GREAT STUFF, your R is coming around, and you are doing SO WELL. can you possibly BE CLONED because i know there would be women standing in line for MILES for a guy like you
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first off, i want to thank everyone who comes to my sitch and offered me the whacks albeit wrapped in velvet. i felt each and everyone of them. it took me so very long to respond back to you all because i had to think about why i didn't pursue
to me, in that little instant of opportunity that i had, i had to do a lot of assimilation on the whole day. i felt truly that it was a HUGE turn of events for our r, first with the i love you, then with the REITERATING WHY he said i love you to the whole telling me what happened with his ff and then his introspection on the whole matter
oh my goodness, that was a LOT to happen in a short few hours. it HAD to be hard for him, to get all of that out, and i really felt in that moment, that PURSUING him at that time would have added TOO MUCH to his already FULL plate. i didn't want him to have the added pressure of handling INTIMACY along with REVELATIONS
does that make any sense. i really felt i was being kind. my needs can wait. he knows i want him. i know he can see it in my eyes (i have even told him, but also told him it was up to him when and if he was ready), but he is not ready. and after the day/night of self examination, i just didn't feel like giving him that added pressure
i have been successful so far in practicing patience, and so far i have been rewarded for my actions. one step at a time and i just didn't feel it was the right time
does that make sense? i may be whistleing dixie, but that is how i feel. i am pumped by what happened that night, and i feel like i am watching my husband grow into a man, and sex right now is not an issue for me. it was, but it's not. that will come when he is ready and he has worked out all his demons
whew...that was a long one. i don't know where i would be without this board.
probably in california somewhere with my daughter and far away from him...so thank you all, thank you michele for believing in marriage
