Ups and Downs

[Energizer Bunny]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not worried about feeling like you're jumping on me. I need someone to hit me upside the head and knock sense into me sometimes. The perspective from someone who has been there is very much appreciated.

It was a big backslide, but like a lot of our wives, my wife is a big avoider. This is why she hates going to the counselor. She would go forever w/o dealing with things. I have fought with patience obviously lost this battle, and will need to do better in the future.

I let her rationalizing get the best of me. Watching her act so loving to our S was killing me. All I could think about was that she's going to have "the conversation" with him and unseat his entire life. I started getting angry with her for being so selfish and not even giving me a shot to save him from having to go through this.

Part of my problem is that my parents split when I was his age. I have never forgotten the moment my Dad told me that Mommy isn't coming home....his crying that night. It's been 26 years.

I talked to two friends in the past 2 days that told me of conversations with each their daughters who still cry that they want to be a family again. One split for 3 yrs, one for 6. My parents still say that they wish they would have made different decisions. It's so hard to hear that she feels getting a D will just fix everything and deliver her to her "happiness," when I KNOW that it doesn't just go away.

GIMA, you are 100% right. I need to drop it. Back off. Stop living in fear, but my instinct to protect my son from something that see as unnecessary is so strong. I WILL NEED TO BE STRONGER. You are right..that strategy is my only hope.

9 1/2 months is a long time. We've had a lot of ups in those months though.