A victory? Of sorts? I was not thrown out of the house nor was STBXW awarded temporary sole custody. NO MORE DIVORCE HEARINGS (except for order of protection stuff next week). Trial is set for Dec. 3 but we fully expect to have a settlement by then.
So, I am in. In until this is done. Everything hinges around the disposition of the house and our individual shares of the equity.
No more hearings. Thank G-d. So, we are in the settlement phase.
Story
I present one of the things I have difficulty processing or, leaving behind:
I began a brief conversation with a women sitting across from me. A tall...attractive blond with a body that was obviously in excellent shape. We both started talking about how tired we were of this process. Hers began in April '08, mine in Dec '07. Both of us were living under the same roof with our spouses.
Her name was 'Natasha'...was Polish...married 18 years and had 4 children. She lived in one of the more expensive areas of Long Island with 6-8 acres and a 10,000 sq.ft home. BIG $$$$ here. Her H started his own business and had her sign a prenup. Now, the business is failing and there are liens on the home.
She said that, after 18 years, she was just getting tired of it all and one day she woke up and said that she couldn't take it anymore. Her H was comfortable 'as is'. Similar to my STBXW (OK, a soft spot), she began to run in triathlons (Ironman) and has fallen into a new group of people and lauded one man who was into drugs and turning his life around. This required her to leave for entire weekends and she would leave the kids with him (he doens't like this and he is making an issue of it...that I am not around). He has to take care of them on the weekends. She wants to go on with her life and start living again. The H, of course, feels they should reconcile since they are still living under the same roof and things are status quo.
I still find the MLC thing...abandon your marriage.....etc...a difficult thing to process mentally. It's still hard to conceptualize how some folks do complete 180's and go from stable mom and wife to physically fit sexual machines that shoot out into the night.
So, I still have some processing to do myself.
I still am happy that I found that pdf that we discussed previously, that decsribes what my STBXW is....it made an impact and helped get me out of limbo.
So, all, within the next 3 months....I will lose the home that I have lived in for 10 years..built, planted, started a family in...and lose time with my kids.
BTW....my L wants me to asked for joint shared vs joint physical. Feel free to chime in on this.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
