Please get counseling ASAP. That is not a healthy state of mind at all to be in. If you are even contemplating self harm which you say is on your mind. You need help real fast. You can also call the suicide hotline. Please do something though. You have a lot to live for and you don't need to be hurting yourself. This WILL come to pass. Please take care of yourself. So many of us have been down this road. I can tell you that I felt things yesterday about myself and had thoughts of doing to myself that I don't care to admit on here. I moved passed it after talking to Wifey on the phone. I am seeking counseling myself now. It is just a dark hour right now. But it will get better.
Please get help. You have a lot to live for and your boys need you and always will. They need a healthy strong mom.
Kevin
Thank you K4D...
I do have counseling and while I know it isn't a healthy thought pattern for some, it is for me...
As long as I think it and don't do it, I am still winning my internal battle...
If you look back over my stuff you will see I did this as a form of escaping to many emotions (I have bipolar)...
I have done it since I was 17 and while it isn't healthy, it was all I knew for a long time...
I don't do it anymore so please don't worry...
I have found (finally) other productive ways to release the massive amount of emotions flooding me.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
