I have the thread up above this one and just asked the same sorts of questions last week. I read the tips about "going dark" and they have been amazingly helpful to me. I had read another of Michele's books that made wonderful sense to me and I just picked up Divorce Remedy this last weekend.
I have to repeat what Trixi said... use this time to do things for yourself. I had been exercising but kicked it up a notch and started running. Being in the best shape of my life is great for my Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)! I also started going to church more regularly - every time has been aimed right at my heart - God is very definitely working on me right now. I also thought back to all those things that my H would never do with me and have gone ahead and done them by myself. That is the GAL (Get A Life) part. Reconnecting with positive friends and avoiding the bitter ones. Choosing carefully who to take advice from.
It REALLY hurts to go through this, but I feel that I am a better person now no matter what. I did not want to go back to what I had, even though I wanted to have my family back. But I pushed and pursued and begged and cried. And it got me nowhere. When I finally came to grips with the situation and backed off, he felt the pressure release and almost immediately came to see what was going on. Read the "going dark" sections here. Really use this time to make yourself the best you you can be... for YOU! If it brings her back, so be it.
