Just looking in on you. Reading your posts I feel so much in common. Like my husband saying our MC 'didn't help' anything....he was still having his affair so of course it didn't help when he was living a double life! That part is so true for so many of us...
I asked my Pastor and his wife yesterday, "Why do I still have the good memories and find it hard to stay closed off to him?" And his wife said, "Because you love him. You honored your part in the marriage and you didn't make the choice to leave". So I guess because you worked so hard to keep your marriage, made yourself remember the good times, it will not be easy to let that go.
Sorry I don't have more words, better words...love ya sis
I don't have a lot to add, but a bunch of hugs. There will be time to analyze the past later, and it needs to be done, I think. But it doesn't need to be done today. And the future is going to come, and in good time you'll have time to think about that, too. But for today, take care of yourself, and those cute little ones!
Kalni....stop reading the emails if you can. The urge in the beginning is to know everything. You don't have to.
You need to just find a way to keep your mind occupied and put one foot in front of the other. I can't speak much Greek, but: -O morfi mera simera -Machapas -Feele semmou
Stay tuff. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
experience life ..sweet sunshine ..there is so much more to it than meets the eye. Now to make an effort to make good on my own advice ..before I need to be straight-jacketed.
I woonder how mucha mime get's paid ..might give that some thought ..while I am waitin on the Lord ..
I've read them all. A thousand? I dont know how many. 3 accounts. 400 pictures. A life together.
He doesnt call because he is respecting my time alone. To heal. LOL (sad laugh)
We talked today. Told him I want to meet both of them toegther. There are a few things she doesnt know either. He said, he will not tell her because he doesnt care to talk to her again, ever. He said, he doesnt care what I tell her, I am free to do so.
He said he [censored] up. He doesnt recognie himself, he is an a$$. He is full into remorse mode and guess what? I am falling for it. How pathetic can I become? John. FIB, please give me a hand here. Need your perspective (everyone but those two, well,,,, they have a way of saying things...). K
I agree with Kerry...I'm not sure meeting them both together would do much good for anyone...that said, I know that you'll find the best course of action for you and your children - just remember to take some time with your decisions - giving yourself a day or two (that 48 hour rule) to allow emotions to settle before you act on them too quickly.
When my STBX had her affair a few years ago, eventually did what you did - I saw all the exchanges between them - from text messages to emails - and it was grueling - particularly because it was never enough...it was just enough to hurt me - but there was never any kind of answer in those words between them - just the awareness that she was lost to me in some way...I took her back after that - and sometimes I think it was my mistake...since I never allowed her to look at herself the way your H must now look at himself.
You're a good person, Kalni, so of course you feel compassion for his pain - but just remember that he knows how to manipulate you - he knows how to get into your heart - and he knows how to bring you around to his point of view...and he knows how to use that for himself. Right now, he's suffering and is probably terrified at the prospect of having to live with the huge consequences of his actions - of course it makes him feel remorseful and want to cling to what he had...you can acknowledge that - but please don't do anything to indulge him...find more ways to put your energy and attention back onto you and your children - and put away that other life he had - so you can continue to live your life more fully.
