Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

She was hateful and rude at son's kickball game on Thursday evening. The kids were there, lots of people were there, and I let it go.

Later that evening, I sent her the following E-mail...

"Wife,
You have made it clear to me how you feel. I have listened, and agreed,
with how I treated you. Now, I'd like to let you know how I feel.

I've done a good job of turning around. I meant business! I truly
understand what I did, and I have deep sorrow.

I'm remorseful. I've shown you that I am sorry and have taken the blame
for the way I treated you and that I understand your feelings and anger and
disgust.

However, your way of talking and communicating to me is often
disrespectful. It is no better for you to talk to me this way than it was when
I was doing it to you. We both know that I was wrong in the past; and I can't
defend or make excuses about my past behavior. I'd like to establish a two way
level of respect.

If you shouldn't have had to take me talking to you that way (and you
shouldn't), then I shouldn't have to take it from you either (and I shouldn't).
I believe you know this to be true.

You've made it clear to me, as far as our future goes, that it's over and
you're done! I accept that. Acceptance is not agreement. I accept that it is
your choice. It is not the choice that I would have made.

Regardless, I care for you deeply, and I love our three children with every
ounce of life that is in me.

Sincerily,

Antlers"


I meant what I said, and I said what I felt. I tried to walk that line that I mentioned earlier...setting boundries, and at the same time...doing it with love and compassion. I felt better after I'd sent it. It's a change from how I've been so far.

I got these change of address notifications from the USPS on Friday saying that someone had requested that my little kids mail be forwarded from our address to a different address...first I knew of it! So, I sent her the following text...

"You should have let me know about the change of address requests you put in for our little kids, ahead of time, instead of me finding out by being notified by the USPS. It was inconsiderate."

She texted this back...

"You're full of [censored]."

My response was this...

"You're angry with me and I understand that. However, when we communicate, you should do so in a manner that is respectful and civil, as I do with you. There is no place for being ugly and showing zero respect."

During the time that I was texting her the above, she sent this message...

"What the crap are you talking about."

So, I responded...

"I got notices from the USPS today saying they received forms asking them to forward mail for son and daughter from the address here to another address."

During the time that I was writing that, she sent this...

"Just like you to turn it around and blame someone else and to take the focus off of the issue at hand. You've done it since I've known you and you will be that way as long as you live. It's who you are...manipulative."

I responded, simply, with this...

"You know as well as I do that's not accurate. My intentions are good."


Didn't hear anything else from her about it after that.