I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[mac-ct]

Beeps - there's lot's of mind reading going on in your posts.

There are also a lot of positives in your decisions. In fact most of the ones that include the words "I won't", "I'm only doing this to myself", "Not emailing" etc.

Now they are in your case the most powerful 180's to use right now.

Doesn't it give you a huge buzz to find you do have control over this sitch?

(((((beepee)))))

Mac

[beepee]

Happy Monday to you too Mishka!

I know I don't have to tell them anything but she's a friend of mine and her brother is friends with my H and she was curious as to what happened and I told her. (She's not that close of a friend but close enough).

Mac: I know there's a lot of mind reading going on and I should stop. Who know's she could just be a friend he made but considering his past, he doesn't make friends online, he makes dates or f*ck buddies, esp on MS. But whatever. He can do whatever he wants but he's in no way getting my help in staying here.


So I'm heading into the city on Friday of this week to hand in my deposit and addendum to the leasing department of my new home!! And then I have an appt with Immigration to discuss this "form" that H is asking me to sign and to discuss a few other things.. After the emails he sent me, I really do not want him to stay here and after all the extensive research I've done, he IS filing under emotional abuse because its the easiest way to file a waiver of joint signatures (I wouldn't be called in to plead my own case and there are sometimes no trial/meeting even)and I want to know what my options are to prevent this.

I know I may be reading into things, but I don't think it hurts to get some information that could protect myself if this were to happen. Thats it, I'm just protecting myself.

So then after that, I'm going to meet up with my friend for lunch to relieve the stress that'll be having from the appt. Anyway, just got off the phone to my friend, she's very surprised at the emails that H sent me, doesn't understand it at all and out of all my friends, she likes my H the most and is very saddened by it all, but she's supporting my decisions not to sign etc. Which is good, I need her support because this is a very hard decision.

[beepee]

Feeling pretty good today!!
There's a Heat Advisory Warning here for today.
Reaching the 100s!! Thats insane. Don't know if I should lug all my packages to the post office now, that might not be very good for me, I went outside an hour ago and it was really hard to breathe because it was so stuffy.

Anyway, I'm getting more and more excited about this new chapter in my life. I'm making lists of what I need for my new apartment. PRIORITY: new sheets, duvet cover and pillows!! This is so exciting! I can't wait to decorate my new room. Its going to look so fabulous!! And I have decided that I'm going to continue learning French and am looking into classes. I can't afford it yet, but I've spent so much of my life learning French that I should continue on with it and finally become fluent. I'm really excited about that.

I've also looked into studio spaces for my business in the city and actually found one that's on the outskirts of the city that costs exactly what I was paying here, which is great!! And my friends are stilling willing to be my models, but I still have to hire new ones to get a variety of looks. I still have to look for a photographer and hire a personal assistant/intern but that shouldn't be too hard. Once I move into town, I'm going to create my budget etc etc and hand it to my potential business partners. Things are lookin' up!

[SDFoundGirl]

A suggestion:

Change the mantra/thought from negative to positive.

Instead of:

"I won't email H. I won't check his MS page. I won't ..."

Try:

"I will focus on myself and making my life great. I will make choices that support my happiness and personal growth."

It seems like it's the same thing, but my C was the one who told me that the brain only hooks on to the idea, not the positive or negative attached to it. So, at one point mine was, "I won't be afraid, I won't give into fear," and she said my brain only attached to the afraid/fear part. So I changed my thinking to, "I am strong, courageous and confident. I can do anything I set my mind to."

I find I still correct my thoughts from time to time, although it's become automatic. But unexamined thoughts have a way of becoming reality...so it's good not to let the ego run too wild.

You sound better. Any way you can wait until evening about an hour before the sun goes down to go mail your packages? It will still be warm, but it won't be dangerous. Definitely get up and moving today though; it will make you feel better to work that nervous energy out of your system.

SD

[beepee]

Hi SD,
thanks so much for your advice. I remember my old boss use to tell me to write in letter "please feel free to contact us" rather than "don't hesitate to contact us" because it uses negatives and I completely agree with what you're saying. I always end my letters that way so I should apply that rule for my sitch as well!!

I am feeling a lot better today thanks. The post office thats near me (within walking distance) closes at 5 and its scorching hot until 6 or 7PM so I might have my dad drive me there instead. We'll see. But I'm definitely doing a lot today. Tons to do.

But I need some advice on something if anyone would like to chime in about how I should go about this. H has my very, very important harddrive with all of my files on it, everything from scanned legal documents, to my journals, to my holiday photos and most importantly, right now, all of my photos from past photoshoots for my business that I desperately need in order to make some money for rent/bills. He said over a month ago that he was going to send it to me along with a few hundred dollars to help pay for bills but he still hasn't yet and right now, I know he's having issues with money so I don't want his money, I just want my harddrive back.

I want to email him and ask him to please send it but not sure if its the right thing to do but how else am I going to get it back? I really need it now to start working on it. I was thinking of emailing him and ignoring everything he wrote in the previous 3 emails and instead write something like this...

D:

I would like to have my harddrive back
as I need all the photos and documents
that are on there. I will be in the city
this friday if you are willing to give it
to me then. If not, I can have a friend
meet you to get it from you. I would
really appreciate this. Thank you.

B



Any advice?? Thanks!

[undrdg]

Beepee
I am new here but i will say this, instead of asking him via email, call him and leave a message and just pick it up.
I hate it when my waw emails me these things.
It is yours, why should you have to ask permission to get it?

[beepee]

Hi undrdg,

Thanks for stopping by.
I would call him BUT...
I have not seen him for over 2 months.
I have not spoken to him for over 2 months.
He will not give me his phone number.
He will not tell me where he is living.
So basically, the only way I can reach him is via email.
And he's specifically said himself, "I feel its best to communicate only through gmail." stupid.

So I would love to take your advice but unfortunately I can't.
I have an H that has completely shut me out.

[undrdg]

Oh wow. That is a rough one beepee. In that case, when you write your email, be confident yet friendly. Use laughter. Everyone is soooo serious around here, given the fact that everyone's situation is dire. That is not lost on me, but everywhere i read I sense fear in everything. Myself included ofcourse.
Here is what I would say (from a male perspective ofcourse)

Hey H,
Long time no talk. wink! Anyways, just dropping you an email cuz i really need my HD back. I was going to be in the city (whenever) and thought i could just pick it up somewhere. If not you can snail mail it to me. Much appreciated.
Take care mystery man.

Or something along those lines. What do you think?

[beepee]

Hey undrdg!

Yes it is rough, very rough.
If you read my sitch, just a few pages and posts back, you'll notice that he has emailed me 3 times in a row and I've been told by everyone here to ignore those emails because, well, they're not very nice emails.

So H and I aren't on good terms so I can't give him a wink although I would love to!!

And I'm not sure I should be emailing him anyway because of the advice I've been given regarding those last emails and since I'm in LRT, I should really be going dark and just not answering him or contacting him at all. But this is really important and I need to get it back very soon but I just don't know how to approach it and I don't know if contacting him is a good idea anyway..

[Serenity13]

Hey Beep -

Glad to see you as always...

You sound very good today

Hope you get your packages mailed soon but don't do it when it is to hot.

Hey H,
Long time no talk. wink! Anyways, just dropping you an email cuz i really need my HD back. I was going to be in the city (whenever) and thought i could just pick it up somewhere. If not you can snail mail it to me. Much appreciated.
Take care mystery man.

Try this instead...

H,

I am going to be in the city on Friday.
Please meet me at such and such place
at such and such time.
I need my hard drive.

Thank You.

B

Remember all business and as quick and painless as possible...
(I know this is easier said then done)