How about you politely ask what she prefers you do? After all, if she thinks she has something better in mind, making the complaint is one thing, but suggesting something else would give you something concrete to think about and maybe even discuss.

M H was always good at criticizing my parenting, but not always good at saying what else I should do. This was only frustrating to both of us. Then I learned to say, what do you think would be better to do in this sitch?

When he came up with something concrete we could discuss it. Absent that, it was only useless, negative criticism.

You both have your reasoning, but you don't know hers and she doesn't know yours. Solutions-based. Remember that? You have problem X and that is negative. Okay, what are solutions A and B to address X?

Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.