So much of what you have said rings 100% true. She is lying atm, she wants a seperation / space desperately and is going to tell the counsellor just that & give her exxagerated reasons (so I doubt the counsellor will help but your right in that I may get some help), all my faults are exxagerated - yes they are true but she is only focussed on my faults.
10 years together + 2 kids 7 & 5 and she is going out till 2-4 am twice per week and on the internet / phone the rest of the time and it is all my fault. This in the space of 2 months.
Yes I have been doing some reading on MLC and I'm still unsure what to do. I'm tempted to just roll with it (& probably end up divorced) but that is why I am getting the counsellor involved - I really need advice on what is the best way to handle this.
I know a couple of things: 1. Some of her comments hurt. She simply does not have a balanced viewpoint. 2. The kids are the most important piece in all of this but they are going to get hurt. All I can do is minimise this as much as possible. My wife cares about the kids but she is so wrapped up in herself that she isn't considering their welfare much at all.
Will I ever trust her again ? Can I accept back into my life someone who appears child-like & extremely selfish ? How long do I try to make this work ?
I can't answer these questions now but I know a couple of things. I need to make sure that I take care of me & my kids (my wife is on her own path) & in any future relationship I will learn from my mistakes.
I am reassessing my life right now and that is a +ve thing. I'm certainly being open about what is happening and that helps.
One thing I'm concerned with is that every one going through this appears to have been hurt badly. I'd hazard to guess that the more you commit to the relationship the more your going to get hurt.
I firmly believe that every marriage can work if it is between 2 stable healthy people. The issue is that someone in a MLC / or going through a massive personal change is inherently unstable. If they come out of this in whatever time is acceptable to you who will they turn into. My wife atm resembles a child / teenager. She is talking like a teenager & acting like a teenager - I have nothing in common with this person and I don't want too.
At this point I want out. All I see when I look at her is a mistake. I'm going to try and sort this out but I don't think I can - she has to go through whatever it is she is going through and I'll have to adapt.
