When I got wound up about something and decided to make an issue of it I made matters worse. Feelings were doing the thinking. The feelings in most cases were derived from fear or an idle mind with nothing more to think of than the marriage or the demise of the marriage.
I understand your sentiment here, but one thing I have learned in this is, is somewhat backwards from what you said.
Feelings are a direct result of 'thought' not the other way around, you hint at that yourself in your last sentence. Your body is then reacting to your own thought process, not the reverse.
This small and subtle shift turns out to be not so small and subtle once you truly grasp it. It has helped me to start working on these issues, so why I wanted to post about it. Once you can understand your feelings are a reaction to your thoughts, you can then look beyond them to the initial thoughts that caused the feelings and work on them.
Part of being able to look past them is to be non judgmental about your feelings, to be able to say "Ok, I am mad or sad or whatever", and rather than start judging yourself for feeling that way, say "ok, that is how I feel, and I am entitled to have feelings" you can then start to look at the thoughts that brought them on.
It really is true, 'Change your thoughts, change your feelings'
Look up 'Mindfulness' and mindfulness meditation, they may be useful to you in this.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
