Lightening Up My Heart

[farfromhome]

Gday Kitti

Seems see to be working well for you and you were wondering if you should be here, lol.

Sorry about your daughter being sick, I hope all goes well there.

Take care

Andrew

[KutieKat]

pam - sure enjoyed chatting with you this afternoon, and i did check on the gripman for you, let's see where that goes

andrew - thanks for stopping by ... don't we all wonder if we should be here or not? glad things are looking up in your sitch as well

kidlet is still ill, but she is resting, giving me time to surf - gonna check in on everyone!

kitti

[NoLongerHere]

Hey Kitti -

Catching up this afternoon - thanks for all the support you've given me! You know, about the hugs and all - my W has been really uneven on this too. Her feelings go all around, including feeling exposed. She sometimes gives me really passionate kisses, and sometimes doesn't want to kiss me at all, and I've become okay with that.

I guess what I'd say is let HIM initiate. A few days where you just say goodbye and leave, and he may start seeking you out. That's what I did - I just started saying goodbye. Sometimes she lets me leave, and sometimes she comes and gives me hugs.

My two cents - chat with you later!

- Bill

[psluke]

Hi Kitti,

Looked a couple of things up that I dredged out of my memory!

Thought these might have been before you started reading.

Interesting thoughts in them.

Worth reading I missed what I wanted by a page here so just back up one ok.

Also worth reading

[psluke]

Good Morning Kitti,

Thought for today!

You have the chance to find the Sunshine!

[psluke]

Hi Kitti,

Hope you are all right and your daughter is doing better today!

{{{{Kitti}}}}

[KutieKat]

bill - thanks so much for visiting my thread my dear, your sitch sounds SO POSITIVE - it's so good to hear!!! i will consider your advice on the hugs

pam - sunshine - thanks for your dose - been busy with household duties and now hubby is sick, which is worse than one of the kids!!!!

will be back later for an update

kitti

[psluke]

OK, you HAD to have had bb withdrawal yesterday!!

I'm trying to read threads and you keep posting and moving them on me! LOL

Good Morning and I hope you have a great day with lots of SUNSHINE!!!!!!!

Don't forget to post your positives!

[holdingon]

kitti,
You said on someone else's thread that when the H gets in a "save me" mode with OW that is tough to break. I think that is exactly what my H is doing. How to get out of it?

[KutieKat]

actually holding, this is a personality trait, and i don't think it's easily broken - unless of course it would be the choice of the one that suffers from it

let me explain the best i can ok (in my best psychiatric voice)

some guys feel good about themselves only if they are helping out poor defenseless women - the more they are damaged either from a previous relationship or ongoing one, the more they need them, the more they feel like a hero.

my husbands affair (on me) was with a woman who was in a horrible relationship, everyone knew it, and he became her HERO - helped her cope and tried to show her that there are "good men" out there

the affair that hubby had with his exwife was with a young girl who had it really bad in her home life with her father, and he again proceeded to be her hero

all of my husbands FEMALE friends have been those with HORRIBLE problems, and he feels like he can save them.

ok, well, i do believe that he is a bit past that now, but he had to work on it on his own, there was nothing i could say or do to help him realize what he was doing

there have been times in our marriage where i have made the comment to him that the reason we always have had problems is because i wasn't NEEDY or CRAZY or looked at him as my HERO enough to keep him satisfied - these discussion usually came up when i saw him getting just a little bit too close for comfort to some of our female friends

hope that helps

kitti