I met my husband in December 08 on the end of a previous relationship. I married him in January 09 but unfortunately I did not officially end things with my previous boyfriend. (I will explain in the next part about this erratic behavior.) The boyfriend lived overseas at the time. I had fears about ending it with him because of the vast family/friend ties involved in our relationship. The boyfriend's sister was my mom's bestfriend's wife. The sister and husband are also my mom's neighbors who I'd live next door to for years. During the course of the relationship his sister caused loads of drama by telling everyone that the boyfriend was cheating on me overseas and saying awful things about me. To compound the situation was the fact that I never felt like the boyfriend cared when I'd tell him what was going on. Nor did I ever get told "I love you" or shown any affection. So, needless to say, I'd let the guy go, but just hadn't broke things off with him out of fear that the sister would cause major problems for me, my mom and her bestfriend. Now, I was with my husband constantly during our relationship. It wasn't perfect but I felt more from him in the time before we were married than I did in almost a year with my boyfriend. I even followed him to another state bc he is in the military and was planning on moving with him. At the time I was also on medication from depression that severly messed with my mental state. I did a lot of other things (besides getting married to someone in less than a month) that eventually got me in trouble with the law. At the time I got arrested the boyfriend had come to visit. He had planned for months to stay with me and I allowed him to with the intentions of breaking up with him when he left because I'd be moving and hopefully be able to avoid the drama. When I was arrested of course my husband and boyfriend found out about each other. When I got out I of course chose my husband as the person I wanted to be with. But unfortunately still being in a diminished mental state I couldn't handle all the problems my infidelity had caused. When he went back to his state I refused to talk to him because I didn't want to fight. My husband then threatened divorce. I had lost a lot of my memory of the past 6 months due to the medication, but apparently I'd slept with the boyfriend while he was here. Soon after being out I found out I was pregnant. Fearing that it was the child of the boyfriend I went back to him. After months of therapy, I've been told that the medication more than likely made me develop split personalities. Which accounted for my lost memory and the ability to have 2 different relationships and not knowing I was cheating. My problem is that after being off meds for a while, I am back to normal and pretty much mentally healthy. I now realize the mistake I made in leaving my husband for the boyfriend just because I was pregnant. I realize now that I do not love the boyfriend, but went back out of a feeling of obligation. I've tried explaining everything to my husband. I know he is still very hurt and angry at me. I know he has every right to be, but I want him back. I've tried telling him how I feel about him, but he is still focused on the fact that I went back to the boyfriend before. We have not officially filed for divorce. We had several friendly conversations last week, but when I started talking about my feelings and our past, he got defensive and says it was my choice. I am 7 months pregnant. There is a possibility that the baby is my husbands, but I don't know.
