I think your instincts have been pretty good and you should keep folowing those. I don't have advice for you per say, but had a very similar conversation about three months ago, so offer the following comments in that context:
- this is one of many ongoing conversations you are having, its not the ONE conversation which will make or break things.
- Let the dust settle. I followed up too soon and did not need to. Soemtimes you go to extremes and things swing back.
- Having this conversation and agreeing in detail what would happen was a huge pressure valve release for us. We connected further after the conversation as what else was there to fear?
- Having such a convesation moves your relationship from the house to H having a second foot out the door. Its a lot of extra steps to move back in the other direction again, so you end up in a further room to move out of to improve things again.
- I can't think of what else could unstick him. I went down the same path for a similar reason. Can you be happy in a life without H? Thats the no expectation path you will be on.
- I should have said stuff like " If YOU choose to move out" rather than "I agree to end things" putting it all clearly onto him.
- make sure anything you say is not in anger, wait 24 hours etc.
