A couple of questions: 1. Is there anything I can do to try and relieve the situation now ? 2. Should I try and reconnect to her - eg talk / try for a date / anything / go for a walk ?
1. Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (Two points if you can name the movie that quote comes from!) Have you read DB/DR and the MLC resources? (Apologies if you have already said so.) If not, do so IMMEDIATELY. NB: Do NOT leave any traces of the books or this site for her to find, however! Also...can you be more specific about what aspect of the situation particularly concerns you? What would you like to relieve?
2. NO. NO. NO. Be kind and polite, but give her space. Drop the rope. If you try to pull her closer at this point, she will actually distance herself from you more. Do not initiate any R talk (goes hand in hand with the "no begging/pleading/crying" rule). To the extent possible, don't give her anything in your current behavior to latch onto that you are doing "wrong." (She will very likely find something about you to criticize regardless, but try to make sure it will have to be something that is either in the past, or is not a valid complaint [MLCers find the most insane things to complain about regarding their spouses...if I remember correctly, one longtime poster on these boards was told by her H that he was leaving her because he didn't like her hair and he didn't like how often she served peas! Of course the fact that he was sleeping with someone else had nothing to do with it...! ].)
Hang in there!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Of course the fact that he was sleeping with someone else had nothing to do with it...! 
].)
