Your H is going to be all over the map. I think the way people have begun referring to it here in Newcomers is the WAS takes a trip to Bat-sh!t-crazyville.
My partner teacher has a way of dealing with people like this...she just thinks of them as mental patients in her mind (thus making their behavior about THEM as it should be) and treating them with polite, detached curiosity. Will Parent X be Jeckyll or Hide today? Who is showing up to the conference--the nice or evil twin?
I think it helps to keep your sanity when you take that approach with the WAS. On any given day--and even within the same day--the WAS may exhibit any sort of behavior. That's why we believe none of what they say and half of what they do. All that matters, really, is that you're clear on taking care of yourself and not owning your H's crazy. You have your own crazy to deal with (as we all do...you know, those things we need to work on ourselves), and it's not our place to take on any of the WAS's share.
So you have to move soon; perhaps a curious, "H, we are getting ready to need to find a place to live in the next couple of weeks, and I'm just wondering if this is something we're going to do together, or something we're doing separately. I'd prefer we be together, but I understand you think you need to leave. However, I thought I'd ask instead of assuming before I start looking for a place to live."
If he starts in all sad sack or weird or alien or whatever, the response is, "H, I am just trying to collect information so that I don't put either one of us in an uncomfortable place. Do what you think you need to do. I just don't want to be setting up house in the park come three weeks." And then smile and walk away to do something else.
Do you remember what your kids were like when they were 12-13-14? Do you remember the ups and downs, the moodiness? Do you remember wondering when the aliens were going to return your sweet children? Because this is sort of what to expect behavior-wise from your H. Adolescent behavior all over again.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
